Happy National Singles Awareness Day (officially recognized on February 15th, but as a strong independent food delivery app who don’t need no man, we believe every day is a good day to love yourself).
Whether you’re newly single or usually single, no one likes a breakup. We know. We’ve all been there. In fact, the average person has been through three major relationship breakups and spent more than a year and a half of their lives getting over them. If those stats sounded confusing, here they are repeated verbatim and accompanied by a weeping hipster:
Seriously, look how sad he is:
We know ending a relationship is hard, but there’s good news: According to some new research,* the pain of breakups can be healed with ice cream. And cake. And pizza (and mac and cheese, apparently?). Basically, it’s like throwing yourself a fifth grader’s dream birthday party, except there’s more crying and less ball pits.
We’ve all been told you shouldn’t eat your feelings, but most respondents said they thought food was an important part of the healing process. Plus, it actually makes sense to eat your feelings, particularly if your feelings taste like chocolate.
According to our survey, one of America’s favorite post-breakup activities is eating comfort food. And why wouldn’t it be? Firstly, it’s delicious. Secondly, being single means you can order whatever you want for dinner. No compromising. If you want nachos, you order nachos. With extra cheese. Then order them again for breakfast, because why not.
AMERICA’S TOP 20 BREAKUP FOODS
1. Ice cream
3. Fried food
6. Chocolate-chip cookies
7. French fries
14. Fried chicken
16. Mac and cheese
17. Krispy Kreme donut
18. Apple pie
19. Spaghetti (aka Spagoo)
Another way to make this list work for you is to start at the top and eat your way down–something we’ve been tempted to do on occasion.
Now that you’re a free agent, your eating experience can really soar. That hole-in-the-wall you loved, but your ex hated? Order from it for lunch AND dinner just because you can now. No more “going halfsies” at the deli because “someone” thought that a pound of corned beef was “a little much for one person.” Plus, get this: You’re in command of all the pizza toppings now. We’ll let that part sink in.
Of course, breakups aren’t all pizza and cake. The 2,000 people who responded to our study also told us they spent a lot of time alone and monitoring their ex’s social media accounts post-breakup. Who hasn’t done that? But most people said they stop this within a few weeks of a breakup, once they begin to move on. You know what never gets old though? Eating cookies and watching cartoons.
Instead of checking an old flame’s social media for months afterwards, like 1-in-10 people admit to doing, studies show it helps to channel that energy into your own life–whether that’s going out on the town (2 nights out seem to do the trick for many people), investing in a great whiskey collection (always impressive), or upping your carb intake (the most popular type of post-breakup comfort food).
If you’re thinking, “Hey Eat24, cool advice but I’m still hurting inside. What good is pizza and ice cream gonna do to help me get over Mark (or Bevan or Stacy or Galgiax)?” Here are some everyday things you can do to heal.
- Every time you think of calling your ex, eat a curly fry and listen to Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone.”
- Journal your feelings in chocolate syrup, then lick away the painful memories.
- Get your heart rate up by racing a cheese wheel down the steepest hill in your town.
- Organize your hot chocolate collection by order of chocolatey-ness
- Throw away old takeout menus, because you don’t need anything holding you back.
- When all else fails, order a pizza. It’s the most common breakup food that’s also the most common ‘getting-in-the-mood’ food. That’s how stable pizza is.
The proof is in the pudding (mmm, pudding). Food cheers us up and asks for nothing in return. Pizza doesn’t hog the blankets, potstickers don’t nag you to wash their dishes, and ice cream doesn’t get disappointed in your lack of enthusiasm when their Mom is in town.
Point is, everyone has their own process. Yelp Eat24 isn’t going to tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t do, we’re just here to support the part of that process that involves cheese, mocha almond ice cream, deep fried sushi, and whatever else your heart desires. Because the heart wants what it wants. And sometimes it wants pizza.
We’ll leave you with this: It may feel like you’ll never get over it, but love is like a great meal. You might not feel like eating right afterwards, but another one eventually comes around.
If you ever need someone to talk to (or distract you with memes), we’re here for you on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
*Survey conducted by OnePoll for Yelp Eat24 with a sample of 2000 US respondents in January 2017.
Originally posted 2017-02-27 12:37:39.